The pop culture every-day geniuses that power Wikipedia have this little forum behind the scenes that they use to debate whether or not certain sentences are biased, non-informative, or written by someone other than them.  Just navigate to any wiki page and click on the link at the top called “discussion” to stimulate potential pretentious hilarity.

Most of the time the debate on the discussion page is pretty lame.  Grammar and vandal fixes abound.  But every now and then a topic comes along that generates some really… special back and forth from some really… fancy people.  Especially note the ignorance deftly masked with subtlety.  You won’t find that in most forums.  And then there are the topics with discussion that’s serious and profound, except for the fact that what all the talk is about is the stupidest fucking thing in existence.

Here are five such articles that make you go “Just stop.”

1. Scientology

What’s controversial about Scientology?  Nothing.  It’s made up.  There’s no need to debate the finer points.  Just like Jesus, Phillp Seymour Hoffman look-alike, L. Ron Hubbard, made it up after slipping on his toilet and hitting his head while hanging a picture of himself.  Then a bunch of years later the guy from that Nintendo game Top Gun and some B-List celebrities decided to pull a decades long prank on America and say they bought into that shit.  It’s time to end it, guys.  The Internet will forgive you.

2. Carlos Mencia

Don’t read the actual article.  Skip straight to the discussion page.  Just between the “Plaigarism is okay in comedy” and “Funny Names (that people have called Mencia)” sections the discussion is infinitely better than the actual page.  The rest ranges from WTF to STFU.  srsly.

3. Anal Sex

The discussion on this one is, in a word, awesome.  But why all the controversy?  “people generally don’t smoke with their buttholes after anal sex” is obviously incorrect.  I can’t remember the last time I didn’t smoke with my butthole.  That’s just common sense.  And if you have to ask “Why does the sentence ‘As the rectal mucosa provides little natural lubrication’ need a ‘citation needed’ tag?” you need to rethink your place in this world.

4.  Sean Combs

God dammit, Wikipedia.  Why do I even have to mention The Artist Formerly Known As Asshat on this site? The Reasonal was a pure place until you decided to have a mile long discussion page on this tool.  You’re on notice until my article on The Sex Drives of Crustaceans gets past the approval process.

5. White Americans

Of course.  You have everything else, white Americans.  Now you have your own Wikipedia article. Want to bet on who wrote the majority of this article and subsequently argued whether white people really are the majority in America?  I can tell you right now it wasn’t a black guy.  They’re too busy not giving a shit.  Which is precisely what I’d be doing right now if my parents hadn’t been white.  Those assholes.