Did you know that you are either evil or stupid or both?  Because I’m here to tell ya that those are the only options left if you don’t believe in the genius of Time Cube.  Did you know that “SICK TEACHERS ARE PAID TO TEACH YOU EVIL TO ENSLAVE YOU STUPID AND YOU NOW POSSESS AN IDIOT CYCLOPIC MENTALITY” and that “Time Cube proves a 1 face god impossible, due to 4 corner face metamorphic human – baby, child, parent and grandparent faces”? Well get with the program, dummy.

Well, perhaps you’ve heard of Time Cube.  You better have, actually.  It’s as old as the Internet itself.  But you might not have heard about it’s creator and Wisest Human on Earth, Gene Ray.  Below is a video showing his awesomeness. Be prepared to have everything he says go right over your big stupid head.  And when you dismiss him as an insane meth addict, just remember that “Ignorance of Time Cube is Greatest Evil”.

If it gets the Classic tag you know it’s worth watching.  This is from all the way back in the ‘04/’05 era, before women could vote.  It looks like some shit you’d see on public access at 2 a.m., complete with local talent (re: homely girls) and baffling sped up action shots.  It’s amazing how many people think this is the height of cleverness.

It gets extra creepy at 2:10 with the backyard scenes and the Stephen King reference.  There’s just something about Christian rap with Weird Al influences that makes me wanna excommunicate my balls.