Did you know that you are either evil or stupid or both?  Because I’m here to tell ya that those are the only options left if you don’t believe in the genius of Time Cube.  Did you know that “SICK TEACHERS ARE PAID TO TEACH YOU EVIL TO ENSLAVE YOU STUPID AND YOU NOW POSSESS AN IDIOT CYCLOPIC MENTALITY” and that “Time Cube proves a 1 face god impossible, due to 4 corner face metamorphic human – baby, child, parent and grandparent faces”? Well get with the program, dummy.

Well, perhaps you’ve heard of Time Cube.  You better have, actually.  It’s as old as the Internet itself.  But you might not have heard about it’s creator and Wisest Human on Earth, Gene Ray.  Below is a video showing his awesomeness. Be prepared to have everything he says go right over your big stupid head.  And when you dismiss him as an insane meth addict, just remember that “Ignorance of Time Cube is Greatest Evil”.

It’s a slow news week.  Just some trumped up fallout about Jeneane Garafalo calling those crazy protesting teabaggers racist.  Whatever.  So instead I bring you a good measure on what the common Internet man (and sometimes woman) thinks of the definition of racism and what it means in our society.  Ok, it’s not a good measure at all.  It’s full of hate and ignorance.  But it sure is fun to laugh at.

Behold the Wikipedia Talk section for “racism”.  A lot of it is people trying to sound way too smart.  They’re harmless yet still kind of funny to read, but the good/terrible part starts here.  This nice little rant even sneaks in a couple of conspiracy theories about the dreaded Teacher’s Union.

At the same time Black kids are being taught Grievance Entitlement thinking in the schools. That mode teaches kids White people are to blame for the troubles of Black people. This is not supported by the facts, but has been put into the curriculum by the Teachers’ Union.

Yikes.  But read on.  The ignorance just became stifling.  Now I love Wikipedia, but it helps to be reminded every once in a while that these are some of the people editing these articles.  It’s surprising that they even bothered to bring it to the attention of the other users instead of just defacing the article itself.  Oh wait, that’s right.  They’re idiots.

No, of course he isn’t. But that won’t stop every conspiracy theorist/religious nut with dial-up from presenting the fruits of their G.E.D. research paper. Take this fine piece of investigative journalism, for instance. Now, here’s a guy who understands the importance of exclamation marks. At first, I was turned off by the fact that I couldn’t wrap my mind around his mode of reasoning, or even look at the page without my eyes burning. But now I understand the glorious truth, thanks to the rave review from Ray Martinez, of Miramir, Florida, and the bold, underlined promise that I ‘have never seen anything as detailed as this report.’ Truly this man carries the Message of the Lord.

BONUS! While searching for a scary photo of Barack (Hussein!) Obama, I found this sweet-ass decal, which I trust you will have purchased by the time you finish this sentence you still have time oh shit too late.