There are essentially 3 types of question/response combinations on Yahoo! Answers that always illicit a “What?” (or “wat“) response.  Each combination is very similar but also subtly different.  Observe.

Example 1: The Obvious

My girlfriend insists on shaving her back before going to the beach. Is this worth fighting about?

I don’t think she needs to do this, and I tell her I love her the way she is and she’s being superficial. Then she gets mad at me and says what I think doesn’t matter, she doesn’t want to look like an ape and have people stare at her. Should I just let this go? I feel like she’s doubting how much I care for her.

What?  Your girlfriend has a hairy back.  Either dump her or shave it for her and make a badass sweater.

Example 2: The Baffled

Are atheist really proper grammar freaks?

it’s getting annoying! haha…If you want to teach English class then go teach it to people who CARES, but don’t expect any Christian like me, to take your advice.

What? How do you come up with a question like this?  Do you really want this answered? Is this some kind of argument against atheism?  How did you manage to spell grammar right?  Why do you… what’s the… wh… ugh.

Example 3: The Silence

It science has the answer to everything why do people still die?

… (what?)

Quite possibly the dumbest/best idea ever hatched was Yahoo! Answers.  Every hour thousands of what I can only imagine as rabid hobos naked at a cyber cafe ask hundreds of the most god awful, ill-informed questions and wait for equally naked, rabid hobos across the world to provide an answer.  Every now and then we’ll bring you some of the most current and best of these questions and answers as a little reminder of how you should be weeping every night in the shower like I do.

Do muslims believe in the Pharaoh? (Ancient Egyptians)?

I am taking an RE exam, and have recieved numerous informations, telling me they do. I just need to confirm this idea.

I can’t believe you’re so stupid, AnotherOne. Information doesn’t need an ’s’.  Fuck.

Why is that the wealthy people kill there family members but the poor people dont?

lately all i have been hearing is the wealthy people commiting suicide and killing each other because they need money. but the poor people dont kill each other they love there family and they stick together.

Wealthy people hire poor people to kill their family members.  So technically it’s the poor people that are doing the killing.  Don’t you look foolish.

Why are mixed raced people more well behaved than African Americans most of the time?

It seems like whenever there is somebody that speaks proper english, dresses and walks normally and somebody you can have an intelligent conversation with, they are always mixed race or have at least 1 white grandparent.

(Intelligent and relevant answers only.)

This best part of this blatant racism is the ending in parathenses.  Like that’s ever going to happen on Yahoo! Answers, asshole.