Surely you’ve heard of the National Organization for Marriage. That’s the hate group with the corporate jargon-sounding name that protects us from scary new ideas like same-sex marriage. They’re famous for their PSAs featuring bigots and their children that clear up the issues with some much-needed fearmongering. But that’s not the only resource these fuckers host.

The NOM Blog is a place where you, the rabid marriage advocate, can make sure your voice is heard. Who wouldn’t want to be in the company of these Christian soldiers as they discuss the gay agenda at work in the outcome of the Miss America pageant?

340. Let’s be clear! A gay man is (( un-godly )), homosexuality is subhuman…It is us who need liberation from their irrational rabid disease, they attack us because they need to corrupt us and spread their irrational disease (just like a virus). They can marry and live together, just don’t attack and diminish our beautiful women that we adore; if they do, there are consequences.

341. One thing is for sure, I will damn that judge hilton, for his rabid attack on Carrie Prejean; and, when he is begging for forgiveness, on Judgement Day, I will do to him what he has done to Carrie. HE IS UNFORGIVEN!!

I’m pretty sure what he’s saying is that, when he gets to Heaven, he’s going to make sure that Perez Hilton goes to hell, forever, because he was unfair to a Miss America contestant.

342. I talk to two lesbian woman, whom are going to marry and they want to have their babies at the same time, so they plan to get pregnant at the same time. Which only proves how ill these people really are.

377. The question that the homosexuals ask quite a bit is if I am not really gay why do I look different? I believe it just may be that when Satan take possession over the minds of humankind, encourages them to part take of Evil, their looks change to accommodate their new found heritage. Maybe that’s the hole idea behind queer eye for the straight guy.

So now you know the minds at work behind Proposition 8. And I think it’s pretty clear that we aren’t really going to have separation of church and state as long as people that are this stupid keep voting based on their religious beliefs. What I find especially telling, though, is that they feel like they should get credit for adhering to God’s demand of heterosexuality. Like gay sex is a constant temptation that they resist so they can go to heaven. That sounds to me like something someone would yell from inside a closet (while possibly wearing a gimp suit).

Lo, and Jesus spake and saith “Y’all better not take no shit from nobody.”

The pop culture every-day geniuses that power Wikipedia have this little forum behind the scenes that they use to debate whether or not certain sentences are biased, non-informative, or written by someone other than them.  Just navigate to any wiki page and click on the link at the top called “discussion” to stimulate potential pretentious hilarity.

Most of the time the debate on the discussion page is pretty lame.  Grammar and vandal fixes abound.  But every now and then a topic comes along that generates some really… special back and forth from some really… fancy people.  Especially note the ignorance deftly masked with subtlety.  You won’t find that in most forums.  And then there are the topics with discussion that’s serious and profound, except for the fact that what all the talk is about is the stupidest fucking thing in existence.

Here are five such articles that make you go “Just stop.”

1. Scientology

What’s controversial about Scientology?  Nothing.  It’s made up.  There’s no need to debate the finer points.  Just like Jesus, Phillp Seymour Hoffman look-alike, L. Ron Hubbard, made it up after slipping on his toilet and hitting his head while hanging a picture of himself.  Then a bunch of years later the guy from that Nintendo game Top Gun and some B-List celebrities decided to pull a decades long prank on America and say they bought into that shit.  It’s time to end it, guys.  The Internet will forgive you.

2. Carlos Mencia

Don’t read the actual article.  Skip straight to the discussion page.  Just between the “Plaigarism is okay in comedy” and “Funny Names (that people have called Mencia)” sections the discussion is infinitely better than the actual page.  The rest ranges from WTF to STFU.  srsly.

3. Anal Sex

The discussion on this one is, in a word, awesome.  But why all the controversy?  “people generally don’t smoke with their buttholes after anal sex” is obviously incorrect.  I can’t remember the last time I didn’t smoke with my butthole.  That’s just common sense.  And if you have to ask “Why does the sentence ‘As the rectal mucosa provides little natural lubrication’ need a ‘citation needed’ tag?” you need to rethink your place in this world.

4.  Sean Combs

God dammit, Wikipedia.  Why do I even have to mention The Artist Formerly Known As Asshat on this site? The Reasonal was a pure place until you decided to have a mile long discussion page on this tool.  You’re on notice until my article on The Sex Drives of Crustaceans gets past the approval process.

5. White Americans

Of course.  You have everything else, white Americans.  Now you have your own Wikipedia article. Want to bet on who wrote the majority of this article and subsequently argued whether white people really are the majority in America?  I can tell you right now it wasn’t a black guy.  They’re too busy not giving a shit.  Which is precisely what I’d be doing right now if my parents hadn’t been white.  Those assholes.