Surely you’ve heard of the National Organization for Marriage. That’s the hate group with the corporate jargon-sounding name that protects us from scary new ideas like same-sex marriage. They’re famous for their PSAs featuring bigots and their children that clear up the issues with some much-needed fearmongering. But that’s not the only resource these fuckers host.

The NOM Blog is a place where you, the rabid marriage advocate, can make sure your voice is heard. Who wouldn’t want to be in the company of these Christian soldiers as they discuss the gay agenda at work in the outcome of the Miss America pageant?

340. Let’s be clear! A gay man is (( un-godly )), homosexuality is subhuman…It is us who need liberation from their irrational rabid disease, they attack us because they need to corrupt us and spread their irrational disease (just like a virus). They can marry and live together, just don’t attack and diminish our beautiful women that we adore; if they do, there are consequences.

341. One thing is for sure, I will damn that judge hilton, for his rabid attack on Carrie Prejean; and, when he is begging for forgiveness, on Judgement Day, I will do to him what he has done to Carrie. HE IS UNFORGIVEN!!

I’m pretty sure what he’s saying is that, when he gets to Heaven, he’s going to make sure that Perez Hilton goes to hell, forever, because he was unfair to a Miss America contestant.

342. I talk to two lesbian woman, whom are going to marry and they want to have their babies at the same time, so they plan to get pregnant at the same time. Which only proves how ill these people really are.

377. The question that the homosexuals ask quite a bit is if I am not really gay why do I look different? I believe it just may be that when Satan take possession over the minds of humankind, encourages them to part take of Evil, their looks change to accommodate their new found heritage. Maybe that’s the hole idea behind queer eye for the straight guy.

So now you know the minds at work behind Proposition 8. And I think it’s pretty clear that we aren’t really going to have separation of church and state as long as people that are this stupid keep voting based on their religious beliefs. What I find especially telling, though, is that they feel like they should get credit for adhering to God’s demand of heterosexuality. Like gay sex is a constant temptation that they resist so they can go to heaven. That sounds to me like something someone would yell from inside a closet (while possibly wearing a gimp suit).

The democratic system of government excels by allowing differing opinions to compete on a level playing field. The drawback of this evenhandedness is that, apparently, some people never learn to distinguish their opinions from facts. Even worse is that these people are allowed to join forces on the Internet and gain strength, but not intelligence, in numbers. Take this article from Gizmodo, for example. This is what happens when people stop accepting that, for their opinions to be taken seriously, they must be corroborated by evidence. I am not just talking about the backwoods-assed adults in charge of the Texas school system having thrown out objectivity in favor of their personal beliefs. Turn your attention to the comments on the article. As you scan the hundreds of comments and replies, count the number of times it is asserted that all opinions are equal. Count the people that take advantage of the misuse of the word ‘theory’.

An equally idiotic (and harmful) instance of this logic is attested to by the fact that Jenny McCarthy has been granted her own talk show. For those of you not familiar with her work in Playboy and other peer-reviewed journals, she is the latest in a string of scientific illiterates using their celebrity to promote half-baked opinions on medicine as if they were fact. Her specific vendetta is against the vaccination of children, which she has decided causes autism. She bases this on her unquestionable experiences as a mother, and out-of-date arguments about Thimerosal. It seems that all it takes for people to continue thinking their reasoning is based in science is for enough people to agree with them.

To those who would argue “Well, science is always being rewritten, and scientists laugh at new theories so they won’t have to accept them,” I have an exercise for you. Compare this example of new age feel goodery with this proposition that would equally upset the scientific establishment. And hell, while you’re at it, compare this and this.

Not since ‘chillax’ have two words describing the same thing been blended together so gracefully.  Crimalien has so many things going for it.  It’s topical, it sounds sci-fi-ish, it was just used several times by an ignorant racist asshole, and it’s a common tag for insane conservative website Free Republic.  I’m sold.

By the way, don’t watch the two guys commenting on the video before and after.  They’re kind of awkward and there’s just no need.  Listen to Severin’s rant (starts at 0:36) and form your own opinion.  But I’ll guarantee you that it’ll be: “what the fuck you’re the primitive you cock”.

No, of course he isn’t. But that won’t stop every conspiracy theorist/religious nut with dial-up from presenting the fruits of their G.E.D. research paper. Take this fine piece of investigative journalism, for instance. Now, here’s a guy who understands the importance of exclamation marks. At first, I was turned off by the fact that I couldn’t wrap my mind around his mode of reasoning, or even look at the page without my eyes burning. But now I understand the glorious truth, thanks to the rave review from Ray Martinez, of Miramir, Florida, and the bold, underlined promise that I ‘have never seen anything as detailed as this report.’ Truly this man carries the Message of the Lord.

BONUS! While searching for a scary photo of Barack (Hussein!) Obama, I found this sweet-ass decal, which I trust you will have purchased by the time you finish this sentence you still have time oh shit too late.