05/27/09
5:16 PM

Folks used to say that science and spirituality were at odds with one another, and were bound to stay that way. But those days are long gone, thanks to the Spiritual Science Research Foundation. They’re taking all the smoke and mirrors out of the supernatural, and replacing them with math and science. I’ll admit that, at first, I thought it was a spoof site. I mean, I’ve seen pseudoscientific Christian apologetic websites that claimed to have all the answers before, but none featured the Scientological Lucid Dream level of creepiness of this video. I kept asking myself how exactly they could be so sure of the ‘14 Planes of Existence in the Universe’, or claim with certainty that there are ‘6 Basic Principles of Spiritual Practice’. But the more I focused my chi, or “chakra”, and opened my mind, leaving this whole critical-thinking trip behind, the more possibly plausible it all seemed.
Read on for more unsubstantiated bullshit.
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05/18/09
4:02 PM

The Internet is home to a great many repositories of knowledge. Among the finest is the HVAC Community Message Board. For those of you unfamiliar with the fancy acronym, it stands for “Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning,” which is an honorable profession practiced by high-school dropouts all over this great nation. We are fortunate to have unrestrained access to this think-tank, so that these proud Americans can enlighten us with one-sided arguments and conservative circle-jerking. Their opinions on President Obama’s speech at Notre Dame are very insightful. And don’t get them started on Science versus God’s Holy Word. Not if you want to live.
Lo, and Jesus spake and saith “Y’all better not take no shit from nobody.”
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05/16/09
8:37 PM

There are essentially 3 types of question/response combinations on Yahoo! Answers that always illicit a “What?” (or “wat“) response. Each combination is very similar but also subtly different. Observe.
Example 1: The Obvious
My girlfriend insists on shaving her back before going to the beach. Is this worth fighting about?
I don’t think she needs to do this, and I tell her I love her the way she is and she’s being superficial. Then she gets mad at me and says what I think doesn’t matter, she doesn’t want to look like an ape and have people stare at her. Should I just let this go? I feel like she’s doubting how much I care for her.
What? Your girlfriend has a hairy back. Either dump her or shave it for her and make a badass sweater.
Hit this for the other 2. CLICK FASTER
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Everyone’s A Scientist
05/07/09
8:00 PM
The democratic system of government excels by allowing differing opinions to compete on a level playing field. The drawback of this evenhandedness is that, apparently, some people never learn to distinguish their opinions from facts. Even worse is that these people are allowed to join forces on the Internet and gain strength, but not intelligence, in numbers. Take this article from Gizmodo, for example. This is what happens when people stop accepting that, for their opinions to be taken seriously, they must be corroborated by evidence. I am not just talking about the backwoods-assed adults in charge of the Texas school system having thrown out objectivity in favor of their personal beliefs. Turn your attention to the comments on the article. As you scan the hundreds of comments and replies, count the number of times it is asserted that all opinions are equal. Count the people that take advantage of the misuse of the word ‘theory’.
An equally idiotic (and harmful) instance of this logic is attested to by the fact that Jenny McCarthy has been granted her own talk show. For those of you not familiar with her work in Playboy and other peer-reviewed journals, she is the latest in a string of scientific illiterates using their celebrity to promote half-baked opinions on medicine as if they were fact. Her specific vendetta is against the vaccination of children, which she has decided causes autism. She bases this on her unquestionable experiences as a mother, and out-of-date arguments about Thimerosal. It seems that all it takes for people to continue thinking their reasoning is based in science is for enough people to agree with them.
To those who would argue “Well, science is always being rewritten, and scientists laugh at new theories so they won’t have to accept them,” I have an exercise for you. Compare this example of new age feel goodery with this proposition that would equally upset the scientific establishment. And hell, while you’re at it, compare this and this.
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