An unfortunate consequence of having decent popular songs and music videos is that every unfunny amateur filmmaker and songwriter with unrealistic dreams will eventually try to parody it.  It’s Newton’s fourth law of Horrible Decisions.  And unfortunately for the world, The Lonely Island’s I’m on a Boat (which is already a goddamn parody) got just a little too popular.  So the fourth law kicked in and approximately 35,000 people decided at once to upload their shitty videos to YouTube for all to see.  So here’s four, hand-picked, of the fucking absolute most terrible, awkward and cringe-worthy spoofs of I’m on a Boat that you’ll find.  (not counting the couch one that Cracked.com already ran into the ground, but that one is pretty bad)

1. I’m on a Bike

Expensive cameras and a couple of vaguely attractive women can’t save this embarrassment.  Good thing they went with the shitty imitation auto-tuner instead of the real thing.  I was worried the song might start to have some redeemable quality.  Finally, for the most baffling coup de grâce imaginable check out the end starting at 3:13 where they take the scariest one of the bunch and run her backwards in slow motion having a wet and disgusting orgasm.  Jesus.

2. I’m at the Zoo

This is the nerdiest and lowest quality one I could find.  It’s basically just a list of a bunch of things you’d find at a zoo accompanied with Google images of them having sex or just sitting there being extra boring.  Bonus features include the whitest guy alive trying desperately to rap and a tasteful photo of bear shit.

3. We on a Plane

These guys get extra points for not even trying.  Their video is just a single shot of a plane, sung over with only a passing resemblance to the source material.  Lucky for us they write out every single lyric in those stupid YouTube caption bubble things that they should never have come out with.  So we see and hear every “motherfucker” in brilliant clarity.  Thanks, guys.  You’re so good at this.

4. I’m on a Boat - Underground Version

I wasn’t going to include this one until I realized that they actually have a guy in black face and then even made a response video to their own video trying to prove they aren’t racist in a painfully unclever way.  This is the kind of embarrassing shit that allows me to get past my own crippling social awkwardness.  So I guess in the end it all works out.  Well, not really.  After hearing “I’m on a Boat/Horse/Penis/Door Handle/etc” three hundred times in one day, I have to go blow my brains out.